LongDistance Relationships
by IreneHolmes
Summary: It's three days after Amon Hen. Frodo and Sam are lost in the Emyn Muil with Gollum, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are hunting Orc, and Merry and Pippin are captive. How do they keep in contact? Instant messaging, of course!
1. Chapter 1

Location: "The Fellowship" chatroom

Settings: Private

Online: xOrphanWandererx

**xOrphanWandererx**: Hello? Anybody there?

_**_elf_lover_37_ **__is online_

**_elf_lover_37_**: Hey Mr Frodo

**xOrphanWandererx**: hey Sam

**_elf_lover_37_**: whats up?

**xOrphanWandererx**: nothing

**xOrphanWandererx:** just bored.

**_elf_lover_37_**: I KNOW.

**_elf_lover_37_**: We've been in these mountains for way too long.

_**brandyhallprankster**__ is online_

_**bullroarers_homeboy3 **__is online_

**xOrphanWandererx**: Hey guys, what's up?

**brandyhallprankster**: FRODO!

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: Dude, where are you?

**xOrphanWandererx**: no idea

**_elf_lover_37_**: theres a lot of rocks and mountains

**_elf_lover_37_**: & we're lost

**xOrphanWandererx**: no we're not

**_elf_lover_37_**: Mr Frodo, you've been saying that for days.

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: ask 4 directions k?

**brandyhallprankster**: Ow.

**xOrphanWandererx**: what?

**_elf_lover_37_**: You ok?

**brandyhallprankster**: Yeah

**brandyhallprankster**: head hurts

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: Sorry.

**xOrphanWandererx**: Pippin, what did you do now?

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: My elbow hit his head where its cut open… sorry Mer

**brandyhallprankster**: Wasnt ur fault Pip :(

**_elf_lover_37_**: Wait, ur head is cut open?

**xOrphanWandererx**: Yeah, how did that happen?

**brandyhallprankster**: Orc did it

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: Yeah we got captured.

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: D:

**xOrphanWandererx**: YOU GOT CAPTURED BY ORCS?

**xOrphanWandererx**: AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?

**_elf_lover_37_**: Calm down Mr Frodo, Im sure Strider will save them

**_elf_lover_37_**: right?

**xOrphanWandererx**: *sigh* Right.

**xOrphanWandererx**: Where is Aragorn anyway?

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: Stupid orcs separated us

**brandyhallprankster**: so idk and neither does Pip

**_elf_lover_37_**: Mr Frodo we should eat lunch.

**brandyhallprankster**: Lunch sounds good

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: I have lembas in my pocket

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: but my hands are tied

**_elf_lover_37_**: Where are you guys anyway?

**brandyhallprankster**: *winces* I don't know

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: I think somewhere in Rohan

**xOrphanWandererx**: Where's Rohan?

**_elf_lover_37_**: No idea Mr Frodo

**brandyhallprankster**: Near Gondor I think

**brandyhallprankster**: and Pip how do u know where we are?

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: My orc said something about it

**_elf_lover_37_**: Your orc?

**brandyhallprankster**: They're carrying us

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: It smells BAD _

**xOrphanWandererx**: I bet :(

_**ThorongilTelcontar**__is online_

_**treefriend46 **__is online_

_**orcslayeraxeman**__ is online_

**xOrphanWandererx**: Aragorn!

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Frodo, how are you?

**_elf_lover_37_**: He's not eating *looks at Mr Frodo angrily*

**ThorongilTelcontar**: WTF Frodo?

**treefriend46**: Your body needs the nourishment

**orcslayeraxeman**: How are you supposed to kill orcs with no strength?

**brandyhallprankster**: Hey, about killing orcs…

**ThorongilTelcontar**: MERRY?

**treefriend46**: You're ALIVE?

**orcslayeraxeman**: Where are you?

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: Captured by orcs

**brandyhallprankster**: Yes I'm alive, but my head hurts

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: He got hit by an orc

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Is it bleeding?

**brandyhallprankster**: Not really

**brandyhallprankster**: one of the orcs put medicine on it

**brandyhallprankster**: it stung like fire.

**ThorongilTelcontar**: So it won't poison you.

**treefriend46**: Are you sure?

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Orcs clean cuts well but it will scar

**brandyhallprankster**: Crap

**orcslayeraxeman**: *panting* Aragorn, can we stop now?

**treefriend46**: We just ate, Gimli! (_)

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Legolas is right

**orcslayeraxeman**: He's always right *pouts*

**xOrphanWandererx**: Not to bother you guys, but we've got a problem.

**_elf_lover_37_**: He's back again Mr Frodo.

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Who's back?

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: he didn't tell us

**xOrphanWandererx**: Gollum keeps stalking us

**_elf_lover_37_**: We're going to log off & talk with him really quickly

**_elf_lover_37_**: okay?

**ThorongilTelcontar**: You're TALKING to him?

**xOrphanWandererx**: He's not that bad

**xOrphanWandererx**: He swore he would lead us to Mordor

**_elf_lover_37_**: I wish you hadn't

**xOrphanWandererx**: Be nice Sam, he's a lot like me

**ThorongilTelcontar**: ARE YOU INSANE?

**treefriend46**: This is an unwise idea, Frodo.

**brandyhallprankster**: Invite him to join, we can meet him.

**xOrphanWandererx**: Okay

**ThorongilTelcontar**: No don't!

**_elf_lover_37_**: Wait Mr Frodo!

_**fishfan500**__ is online_

**ThorongilTelcontar**: *sigh* Too late.

**fishfan500**: What is this? *hisses*

**treefriend46**: A chat room

**fishfan500**: Can we eat it, Precious?

**_elf_lover_37_**: I told you this was a bad idea Mr Frodo

**xOrphanWandererx**: Give him a chance.

**ThorongilTelcontar:** Hey, Gollum, about that time that I sort of dragged you across the country…

**fishfan500**: We HATESSSS you!

**ThorongilTelcontar**: *backs off quickly* Okay, okay. Sorry.

**xOrphanWandererx**: Gollum, have you found us a way?

**fishfan500**: Yes, we have, Master. But we must go. We must go at once!

**_elf_lover_37_**: Next time, Mr Frodo, please block him from the chat room.

**xOrphanWandererx**: So, yeah, we do need to go. See you guys later?

**brandyhallprankster**: If the orcs don't kill me

**treefriend46**: I hope so.

_**xOrphanWandererx **__is not online_

_**_elf_lover_37_**__ is not online_

_**fishfan500**__ is not online_

**ThorongilTelcontar**: We better go too. Where are you guys, Merry?

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: In Rohan somewhere.

**brandyhallprankster**: I think I can see a forest up ahead.

**treefriend46**: Probably Fangorn

**orcslayeraxeman**: *growls* Wonderful. More trees.

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Goodbye, Merry. See you later, Pippin. Don't do anything stupid.

_**ThorongilTelcontar**__ is not online_

**treefriend46**: Bye!

_**treefriend46 **__is not online_

**orcslayeraxeman**: Farewell!

_**orcslayeraxeman**__ is not online_

**brandyhallprankster**: Bye.

_**brandyhallprankster**__ is not online_

**bullroarers_homeboy3**: Bye…

_**bullroarers_homeboy3**__ is not online_


	2. Chapter 2

Location: "The Fellowship" chat room

Settings: Private

Online: xOrphanWandererx, treefriend46

**xOrphanWandererx**: Legolas? What are you doing up?

**treefriend46**: Elves never sleep, Frodo. At least not as mortals do.

**xOrphanWandererx**: I've not been sleeping as a mortal does for quite some time.

**treefriend46**: Perhaps if you ate less, it would tire you.

**xOrphanWandererx**: _ Nobody's told me to eat _less_ before...

**treefriend46**: *grins* It might help.

_**_elf_lover_37_**__is online_

**_elf_lover_37 **: Mr Frodo, get back in bed!

**xOrphanWandererx**: Technically it's not a bed Sam

**xOrphanWandererx**: its a blanket and a cloak

**_elf_lover_37_**: Well :P Mr Frodo, you need to go back to sleep.

**xOrphanWandererx**: I wasn't sleeping before. And as you're so fond of pointing out, someone needs to watch Gollum.

**treefriend46**: He's still following you?

**_elf_lover_37_**: That's not the half of it. Mr Frodo's letting him lead us to Mordor.

**treefriend46**: ...

**treefriend46**: Give me just one moment.

**_elf_lover_37_**: Oh no.

_**ThorongilTelcontar**__is online_

**ThorongilTelcontar**: FRODO, WHY ARE YOU LETTING GOLLUM LEAD YOU TO MORDOR?

**xOrphanWandererx**: We were lost, and Gandalf said he might have some part to play, and

**ThorongilTelcontar**: I DON'T CARE WHAT GANDALF SAID!

**treefriend46**: Aragorn, calm down. If it helps them...

**ThorongilTelcontar**: *sigh* I guess you're right.

**_elf_lover_37_**: Strider, hows the search 4 Merry & Pippin?

**xOrphanWandererx**: Yeah, we haven't heard from them in a while.

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Well technically it's still ongoing, we haven't made any progress yet

**treefriend46**: We met some riders in the service of Theoden, King of Rohan. They gave us horses and directed us to where they did battle with a battalion of orcs. We found

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

**treefriend46**: That's not true Aragorn, you said they escaped into the forest.

**ThorongilTelcontar**: *facepalm*

**xOrphanWandererx**: What forest?

**treefriend46**: Fangorn.

**_elf_lover_37_**: Wasnt that the place Lord Celeborn told us to stay away from?

**ThorongilTelcontar**: And here I was trying *not* to worry them.

**xOrphanWandererx**: What's so awful about Fangorn.

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Well...

**ThorongilTelcontar**: The Men of Rohan speak of trees that speak and move. Of beings that devour anything on two legs beneath their branches.

**_elf_lover_37_**: WTF?

**_elf_lover_37_**: Mr Merry and Mr Pippin are in there?

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Now, stay calm, we don't know that for sure.

**xOrphanWandererx**: Stay calm? My cousins got eaten by TREES! I am not going to "stay calm"!

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Legolas you idiot, I told you to keep this to yourself.

**treefriend46**: *eager to redeem himself* Well, we don't exactly know if they're dead.

**xOrphanWandererx**: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

**treefriend46**: All we found were their tracks going into the forest. We haven't gone inside yet.

**xOrphanWandererx**: Like that's supposed to make me feel better.

**_elf_lover_37_**: Now Mr Frodo I'm sure Strider's got everything under control. Go to sleep!

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Yes please do.

**xOrphanWandererx**: *sigh* Fine, but I'm sure my sadness for my cousins who got EATEN BY TREES will keep me awake.

**_elf_lover_37_**: Sorry Strider. Good night.

_**xOrphanWandererx**__ is not online_

_**_elf_lover_37_**__ is not online_

_**gr4ycloak**__ is online_

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Hey, how's it going? Sit here for a sec, I'm sure the fire will warm you.

**gr4ycloak**: Thanks.

**treefriend46**: I better wake up Gimli.

_**gr4ycloak**__ is not online_

**treefriend46**: What in Elbereth's name?

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Dude he disappeared!

**ThorongilTelcontar**: How did that happen?

**treefriend46**: Aragorn, our horses are gone!

_**orcslayeraxeman**__ is online_

**orcslayeraxeman**: What did I miss?

**treefriend46**: Some old guy randomly stole our horses.

**ThorongilTelcontar**: Probably Saruman, remember what Eomer said?

**orcslayeraxeman**: Let's steal them back. And I can put a dent in his head!

**treefriend46**: *slaps Gimli* Shut up, Gimli.

**ThorongilTelcontar**: I have to sign off guys, I need sleep.

_**ThorongilTelcontar**__is not online_

**treefriend46**: Good night Gimli.

_**treefriend46**__ is not online._

**orcslayeraxeman**: Stupid Elf.

_**orcslayeraxeman**__ is not online_


End file.
